So Mr. Who and I went on a romantic weekend vacation for our 4th wedding anniversary.  We stayed at a beautiful cabin in Amish country that came equipped with a hot tub, Direct TV, and the owners’ (who lived right next door) two Chihuahuas that liked to sleep on our porch. It was tranquil, quiet, smelled a little of animal poop, but very relaxing nonetheless.

We decided to bring movies with us and shared some lovely moments watching chick flicks: Evil Dead, Dark Skies, and Silent Hill Revelation. Saturday evening, just when we thought things couldn’t possibly get more romantic, we came across American Ninja Warrior on TV.  If you have never seen this, it’s like American Gladiators but without the greased up biceps, sparring, and Hulk Hogan.

The goal was for each person to work their way through – and finish – a gauntlet filled with strength and endurance challenges.  These challenges included things like: running up a wall, spider walking 30 feet up a small enclosed glass tunnel, and doing that lift to the next hole thing with the metal bar that Oliver Queen does on “Arrow”.  You know, things everyone should be able to do in a moment’s notice.

So while that’s impressive and all, Burly Twin A could probably do all of that and more.  At 3 years old, he is already (to my HORROR) jumping off the top of the sliding board to the ground, climbing trees, and instead of sitting  on the two person glider, Twin A uses the handles as foot pedals.  At preschool, he climbs the rock wall boulder thing they have and goes to the very top to stand and observe his minion toddler friends.  (I’m working on getting him to say: “I’m king of the world!”)

So after watching him in action, I think I would definitely pay to see a bunch of 3-5 year olds running through these challenges.  There’s really no training involved; kids figure a lot of things out on their own, and usually NOT the way you want them to do it.  You could also incorporate chores into it. Make them run across the yard to pick up sticks, water the plants, pick weeds, and sing: “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” at the top of their lungs.  To make the challenge even harder, they have to do them using their indoor voices and are not allowed to ask “why?” for 10 minutes.

To make it easier, American Toddler Warrior wouldn’t even have to be physically challenging.

A more realistic set of challenges would probably go like this:

1. Put your socks on correctly.

2. Go find your shoes.

2a. Not your juice, your shoes.

2b. Get your finger out of your nose and go get your shoes!

3.  Now go find your blankie.

3a. Hey, what are you doing? It’s not time to watch Yo Gabba Gabba!  It’s time to be a NINJA!

4. Put your toys away.

4a. Do not hit your brother.

4b. Tell him you’re sorry.

4c. No, you can’t tell him you’re sorry, then hit him again!

5. Now eat your lunch.

5a. No, you cannot have an oatmeal pie until you eat your lunch.

5b. Come on, just eat the sandwich. Why are you crying?

5c. Ok, here’s the oatmeal pie already. Now eat your lunch.

5d. What do you mean you’re FULL?

Twin A would probably win the above challenges, though, he does those things pretty well.  He would be so excited to be named a Ninja, no prize money would be necessary.  He would probably settle for five Oreos and someone to find the missing head from his Captain America figure.

It’s headless because he bit it off with his bare teeth. ROAR!