I am lucky. Luckier than Forrest Gump. Luckier than the women surrounding the Dos Equis guy.  Luckier than any reality star whose show has been on for more than one season.  And luckier than Zach Galifianakis for being as famous as he is with that crazy beard and long last name.

Know why?

My husband hardly ever watches sports.  Whooweeeee!!! That’s right, ladies, bow to me…

Now, “hardly ever” excludes football season, but it’s to watch the Browns, which is fine since it’s our team.  The only problem is come Sunday and a Browns game, he becomes a different person.  My usually quiet husband yells at our TV. The man who makes fun of me for talking to myself (and I do it a LOT) becomes a mutterer.  The man who likes to lean back and get comfortable in the recliner stiffens up and leans forward concentrating hard.  The man who usually doesn’t know what’s happening in a movie can call a play before the announcers do. It’s freaky. But even in all the yelling and smiling, when it’s obvious the Browns are going to lose *cough cough again cough* he is still hopeful, that THIS is the game they will win.

They don’t, usually.  When they do win, like all Browns fans, he’s ecstatic.  We don’t care how they win, by what means, margin, whatever, it doesn’t matter…suddenly they are the best team on the planet.  And if we even score against the Steelers…well, all I’m saying, it’s a good thing the Browns aren’t playing the Steelers on December 21, 2012, because it would mean the Mayans were right, and the world would end because the Browns would win the game.

I had a thought in the wee hours of the morning, one that my husband either ignored or slept through, but I thought if they scored football differently, it would give some of the lesser teams a better chance to go on to the Super Bowl.  They need to score it like bowling.  Each team gets a certain handicap to make things more even.  This means that the Browns would most likely start off each game with 7-21 points right off the bat.  Think how much more confident they would be! They would already have points on the board!

I think it’s downright genius! But I know there is probably not one man alive that will agree with me, including my husband.

In his defense, how else are my children going to learn really bad words, and the evil that is the Steelers if my point system is implemented?

Oh,well, considering what I’ve been hearing lately, we probably don’t have to worry about the bad word part…